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The Basic Etiquette of Thank You Notes
They’re such a simple concept. A thank you note is an expression of appreciation for a thoughtful act, expression, or gift. But the potential formality of this thought can be intimidating. Many people think that the wording has to be perfect, and this causes so much anxiety that the notes are never sent. Before all the other rules, just remember that an imperfect note that comes with heartfelt sentiment is better than a perfect note that was never written.

In order to relieve some of the anxiety on this subject, here is a simple guide to the do’s and don’ts of thank you notes. You may discover that in some cases where you thought a written note was required, it’s not. I’ll also give you a few sample thank you notes just to get you started. But remember, although I’m providing a formula, you’ll need to personalize it to make it meaningful to the recipient.

The Do’s of Thank You Notes

Send your thank you notes as quickly as possible.

Notes may be sent on informal stationery, except for wedding thank you notes which are generally sent on formal stationery.

Always make specific reference to the gift that is the subject of the note, such as “Thank you so much for the blue sweater.

Always send notes in the following situations:

Wedding gifts.
For sympathy letters, flowers, or mass cards.
To the hostess after a party that was hosted in your honor.
For bridal or baby shower gifts.
For gifts that were received by mail.
After being entertained by your boss.
Gifts received during a hospital stay.
After being hosted as a houseguest for one or more nights (unless it’s a close relative or friend who is doing the hosting).
For notes or gifts of congratulations.
Thank you notes are not required in the following situations, but would still be a nice gesture:

After being a guest at a dinner party.
After a job interview (not required, but definitely a smart idea).
For birthday gifts that were received and opened in person, and you already thanked the giver personally.
When a friend has helped you out with a special favor such as babysitting, a meal when you were sick, running errands for you when you are incapable.
To the sales representative who has entertained you personally as part of a business relationship.

The Don’ts of Thank You Notes

Don’t delay in sending most notes. Generally notes should be sent within a week of receipt of the gift or gesture. The only exception to this timing is as follows:

Thank you notes for hospital gifts should be sent as soon as the patient is well enough to send them, whenever that is.
The current guidelines for wedding gift thank you notes are that the notes should be sent within three months of receipt of gifts. However, given the potential monumental task that would pose to the bride and groom after their honeymoon, it makes sense to send notes out as soon as gifts are received (often wedding gifts are sent prior to the wedding date).
I cannot stress enough the importance of personalizing thank you notes. I have attended large children’s parties where parents hand out pre-written thank you’s as guests leave the party, even though gifts haven’t even been opened. In my opinion, there’s no point in even giving a thank you in this case. Thought was given to selecting just the right present for the birthday boy or girl, and without a specific thank you for the gift, the giver will never know how much the gift was really enjoyed. This kind of thank you is merely a check note on the party list, and conveys no sense of personal appreciation.

Even though most thank you notes can be sent on informal stationery, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to use a piece of paper torn from your shopping list pad. Find note cards that reflect your personality, and keep a ready supply on hand. They don’t need to cost a lot of money. In fact, if you shop diligently, you can find inexpensive, attractive cards in the dollar stores.

There’s no need to lie if you dislike a gift. If something is not to your taste, you should still show appreciation for the thought that went into selecting it for you. You can always say “Thank you for the thoughtful (fill in the blank). I will always think of you whenever I use it.”

From Donna Pilato,
Your Guide to Entertaining.

A drum-tight, sculpted midsection: You probably kissed that goodbye after high school, the babies, or since you took a desk job. But get ready for a reunion.

We won’t lie: You do have to eat right and exercise. But we’re here to maximize your efforts. Here are the very best moves, products, foods, clothes, and more for flattening your tummy fast. Some even give instant results!

Bad Back
Best Exercise: Lying chest raise. This ab-and back-strengthener is great for preventing lower back pain and for rehabilitation after an injury — as long as you have no pain and your doctor has given you the go-ahead.

How it’s done: Lie on your stomach, keeping your hips and pelvis flat. With your hands under your chin (or in a pushup position to assist in lifting, if necessary), contract your lower back muscles and lift your chest about 30 to 35 degrees off the floor. Hold, then slowly lower.

Worst Exercise: Crunches with your knees dropped to one side. This twists your spine, and when you lift up, it compresses the vertebrae–a sure recipe for aggravating or creating back pain.

At-Your-Desk
Best Exercise: Seated knee lift. This exercise not only tones your abs, but you can do it in a skirt and heels — without getting on the floor, says Willibald Nagler, MD, physiatrist-in-chief at New York Hospital’s Weill Medical College of Cornell University in New York City.

How it’s done: Sit up straight in a firm, armless chair. Grab the chair’s edges just in front of your hips. While supporting yourself with your hands, slowly draw your knees up toward your chest while breathing out, keeping your lower back pressed against the chair. Hold, then slowly lower.

Worst Exercise: Reaching for the candy bar in the bottom drawer.

Number of Reps
Best: Take this test to find out. Do as many perfect crunches as you can: feet flat, knees bent, elbows out, slow movement (3 seconds up, hold for 1 second, 3 seconds down), your upper back about 3 inches off the ground. If you can do between 1 and 5 perfect crunches, subtract 1 from that number; between 6 and 10, subtract 2; between 11 and 15, subtract 3; and for 16 or more crunches, subtract 4.

This is the number of reps that you should do for each set. (For example, if you can do 10 perfect crunches, you should be doing sets of 8 reps each.) Do three sets, with 60-second breaks in between. Retest yourself regularly to update your workout. Crunches with your legs up or on a decline bench are more difficult, so you may not be able to do as many in the beginning, but that’s okay. Do as many as you comfortably can. As your abs get stronger, you’ll be able to do more.

Worst: More than 50. And if you’re not seeing results from 50 reps, 100 or 200 won’t help either! Quality, not quantity, firms your midsection. Ten well-executed crunches are better than 50 sloppy ones. To stay challenged without adding reps, you should switch to a different kind of ab exercise every six weeks.

Abs
Best Exercise: Legs-up crunch. Keeping your legs on a chair or bed or in the air helps to make a basic crunch more difficult — and more effective. It makes your abs, particularly the upper portion, do all the work because your hip and leg muscles are unable to provide assistance.

How it’s done: Lie on your back with your knees bent and your lower legs placed horizontally on top of a chair. Your thighs should be vertical, your hips close to the chair. Curl up slowly, with your upper back about 30 degrees off the floor, and hold. Slowly return to the floor. For a more challenging workout, hold your legs straight up in the air.

Worst Exercise: Fast, old-fashioned situps. These work your hip muscles; your abs do very little. It also doesn’t help that you’re more likely to use momentum, especially if your arms are straight overhead or pulling on your head, explains Prevention advisor Wayne Westcott, PhD, fitness research director for the South Shore YMCA in Quincy, MA. This move also places lots of stress on the lower back.

Waistline
Best Exercise: Crossover crunch. This exercise hits the obliques, which wrap around your sides and are key to creating a wispy waistline.

How it’s done: Lie on your back, knees bent and feet flat on the floor, and place your left ankle on your right knee. Put your hands behind your head, with your elbows pointing out. Slowly raise your right shoulder toward your left knee, lifting your upper back and twisting slightly. Keep your elbow in line with your ear, not in front of you. Don’t pull on your head or neck. Hold, then slowly lower. Repeat to the other side.

Worst Exercise: Twists with a broomstick. There’s no resistance, so your abs won’t get stronger or firmer. The only thing this will do is stretch and warm up your trunk muscles.

Provided by Prevention

Sept. 28
5:30-7:30pm, at the Good Year blimp Base, 1500 NE 5th Ave., Pompano Beach. Bring the family and enjoy clowns, caricaturists, carnival games, craft corner, rock wall, a visit from Stanley C. Panther, hot dogs, hamburgers, cotton candy and more. Bring your business card for a chance to ride on the blimp. Raffle prizes and live auction. Cost: $15 per person (in advance), $25 at the door, $25 family of four (in advance), $35 at the door. 954-462-4850.

Make 15 minutes go a long way. Try these quick reading activities with your younger kids.

1. License to read. On car trips, make it a game to point out and read license plates, billboards, and interesting road signs.

2. Better than TV. Swap evening TV for a good action story or tale of adventure.

3. Look and listen. Too tired to read aloud? Listen to a book on tape and turn the book’s pages with your children. You’ll still be reading with them!

4. Labels, labels, labels. Label things in your children’s room as they learn to name them. Have fun while they learn that written words are connected to everyday things.

5. Pack a snack, pack a book. Going someplace where there might be a long wait? Bring along a snack and a bag of favorite books.

6. Recipe for reading. The next time you cook with your children, read the recipe with them. Step-by-step instructions, ingredients, and measurements are all part of words in print!

7. Shop and read. Notice and read signs and labels in the supermarket. Back home, putting away groceries is another great time for reading labels.

8. Your long-distance lap. Away on a business trip? Take a few books with you, call home, and have your child curl up by the phone for a good night story.

9. A reading pocket. Slip fun things to read into your pocket to bring home: a comic strip from the paper, a greeting card, or even a fortune cookie from lunch. Create a special, shared moment your child can look forward to every day.

10. A little longer? When your child asks to stay up a little longer, say yes and make it a 15-minute family reading opportunity.